What are the five experiences in your life that have shaped who you are?
A woman’s desire for, and ability to have a, baby is something that pretty much everyone you ever speak to has an opinion on - whether you have asked for said opinion or not.
I think it was Emma Barnett who said that fertile people shouldn’t give infertile people advice. Amen to that.
IVF (as anyone reading this who has been, or who is going through it will know) is a gruelling rollercoaster of tests, more tests, drugs, physical side effects, scans, appointments, waiting, more waiting, and a lottery of “failure” or “success”. Plus a shedload of emotions and internal narratives that accompany it.
I was lucky enough to have the money to go private at the time. And lucky enough to get a baby at first go. Which is good, because I turned out to be absolutely rubbish at producing eggs. I was on the highest level of drugs the clinic could legally give me, and it was if my body was going “Nope, nothing to see here, move along”. I was one day off the whole thing being cancelled, and our clinic were clear that they’d only do one round because my chance of success was low.
If anyone is going through it, or has gone through it, please know that I am sending you a shit ton of love, and compassion and a massive hug. It is HARD. And I know. I got a child out of it, and not everyone does. I fully check my own privilege.
I nearly didn’t write this because it is such a sensitive and personal topic that I don’t want to unwittingly offend anyone, or hurt anyone’s feelings.
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